anxiety, change, chronic illness, depression, happiness, insomniac, invisible pain, poetry, support, Uncategorized, vertical sleeve gasrectomy, vsg

Plus size & Bikinis ; who says they don’t go together?! 🤷‍♀️

It’s summertime in central PA. Which brings hot, humid & sunshiney days. Days spent on the lake & around the pool. & yep, you guessed it; me rocking my two piece suit (I admittedly love me a high wasted bottom, though. 🤷‍♀️) I found on Amazon or at Walmart & all the extra rolls, stretch marks and cellulite that grace my plus sized body.

Does this make you feel uncomfortable for me? Well it shouldn’t.

Do you think I should wear a one piece cause we are made to believe we should be covering up & hiding whatever flaws ‘they’ pushed us to believe we have? Well, that’s cool if you do but I think you’re wrong.

Will that skin tight one piece change my weight or look miraculously to make it appear I’m a size 8 or even a 10? Not even close.

When I look back at my summers;

  • I want to look back and remember the sound of my babies laughing as I throw them across the pool for the 100th time.
  • I want to remember their larger than life smiles because Aunt Dez is 100% down to jump in the pool with them on a hot summer day or ride the tube with them so they feel safe! (Or to push the bigger kids off. 😂)
  • I want to think back on the times I spent on the boat, soaking in the sun while my husband, usually begrudgingly, poses for a picture with the 10th fish he caught that day.
  • I want to remember the amazing nap I dozed into after a day of laughter, food & fun spent around the pool with the ones I love the most.
  • I want to smile knowing my summers were spent full of sunshine, camping, boating, swimming, hot tub nights and making memories.

What I don’t want to look back and think about is how I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve made all those glorious memories if only I didn’t have that extra 30 lbs I’d love to lose. Or if only I would’ve spent the winter toning up so I looked ‘good enough’ to be seen in less than jeans and a tee shirt.

I recently asked my husband while we were out in the boat if he was ever embarrassed that I choose to rock a two piece, wear shorts & tank tops, and don’t cover up every inch that might have cellulite, stretch marks & scars . . . He said “um absolutely NOT, you’re freaking beautiful. I’d never be embarrassed!!!”

So my advice ladies & gentlemen; wear the shorts, the bikini, the tank top. 🛑 STOP 🛑 thinking about covering up your so called imperfections and start loving all the parts of you that are beautiful and amazing and worthy! & before you think it; No, I’m not saying you’ll magically love every part of yourself but if you stop focusing so much energy on the negatives you will find so many more positives.

I can promise you that years from now when people think of you and the memories they have with you they will not be memories of stretch marks, lose skin, extra rolls, etc. . . But they will be of you sharing in the fun and being apart of their lives. ♥️

& one last piece of advice; get you a support system as amazing as my husband & family/friends (I am DAMN fortunate and I am endlessly thankful for the unconditional love they show me on the reg!!!😘). . cause no one should shame you for enjoying life & loving yourself!

Rant Over. Thanks for coming to my yearly summer clothing TED talk. 😂🤦‍♀️😘

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