Support, Support, Support

Support system. I believe this is one of the most important pieces of any journey in this life. Whether it’s weight loss, reaching a career goal, exploring a new hobby, following a life long dream. Everything is “easier” and much more attainable when you have a strong support system.

I am and have always been blessed with AN amazing support system. From the teachers/school counselors/ and even the school secretaries who have stood by my side for years and now include me as family, to my best friends who ARE my family, to my husband and all of his amazing family, to those friends whom I’ve met through and while going through a piece of my journey, and everyone in between. I am abundantly loved and forever grateful!

While life has throw a few curve balls my way I will never use the past to define my future. Some have said I grew up too young, too fast. Others repeat time and time again that I have always had an old soul. Regardless of the reasoning that I am blessed to be loved by so many and to have a heart that can love so many back I would not change that for anything. I cherish and appreciate every friendship I ever have had/will have. ❤️

I’ve been asked a few times what led me to the weight I was. While I have no concrete answer and I was ALWAYS heavy, as far back as I remember, I was at my smallest (size 20) until now in my adult life when I was 18. The same time I lost my Poppa to cancer. Losing my dad at eighteen was probably the turning point in my life. The point where I stopped taking care of myself and focused every ounce of energy into anyone and everything else I could. I’ve always be the caregiver but this was different. This was to an extreme. And then I believe I became an emotional eater. I covered up my own feelings with food for far too long. And by doing that I gained about 150 pounds in a 4/5 year period. When I finally dealt with losing my best friend and selling my childhood home I started to refocus on myself. I met an amazing man, started a job I loved, and let myself find happiness again.

After I found that happiness again and started to focus on myself I pushed myself with every diet I could, I went to the gym A LOT for long periods of time, I stopped over eating and eating out of sadness. That wasn’t enough.

Over the next 4/5 years I went through periods of pushing myself and falling off the wagon. I didn’t want to change for superficial reasons. I was and still am happy with how I look, most days. I, along with my amazing support system, never saw the weight. But I knew it was there and I knew that I needed to make a drastic change because I don’t want to be gone at 45 like my Poppa was, if I can prevent it.

So in a nut shell that is what lead me to my heaviest and what also made me open my eyes to inquiring about bariatric surgery. I talked to those closest in my support system. My husband, my best friends, family, those amazing teachers who have seen me at my darkest. . . And ultimately I made the decision to focus on myself and make the life style changes I needed to because, as I’ve repeated and will repeat a thousand times, I especially don’t want my nieces and nephews to know a life without me (and I want to be around to sit on the porch with my husband, telling him what an old fool 😂 he is and reminisce on the “old days” together.) until it is absolutely my time to go.

While my dad has be gone over ten years now I know he would be proud of me. Not just for the weight lost and the determination I have on this journey, but because I am who I am despite the statistics of who I should have become. I am who I am because of his life and because of his death. The 18 years we had together had bumps and bruises but I am fortunate to have amazing memories with a man who loved me with his entire heart. And because of his death at a young age I have learned to cherish those you love & love them unconditionally, enjoy the time we have on this earth, and make the most out of the love we’ve been given.

So after all of that, emotional/over eating led me to where I was but having the incredible, loving, strong support system I have been blessed with has made this journey and every journey I will take on possible. ❤️

this particular journey will never be over; but I will do my best to continue to enjoy all that comes with it and cherish the amazing support system I have and will continue to have along the way.

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