I see you, I hear you, I feel you; I am you

I see you, I hear you, I feel you; I am you.

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I see you;
ten years old: feeling lost, eyes filled with worry.
I see the tears falling on your journal pages as you’re writing about how you don’t fit in as well as you “think’ you should.
I see how you look in the mirror and pull at your clothes that hug you, just a little too tight.
I see you hurting and hiding as your half-brother and his friends call you names that cut your flesh so deep they leave open wounds that continuously bleed.
I see you lying wide awake each night, living in fear of the monster that lurks just beyond your bedroom door.
I see you longing to have your innocence back, to just be a kid, to not know all the darkness.

I hear you;
fourteen years old: screaming so loud to fit in.
I hear your own harsh words cutting through your fat like a hot knife through butter.
I hear you smothering out your pain with laughter when others are around.
I hear your sneakers on pavement as you force yourself to run and keep up with the other cheerleaders in hopes you find your place to fit in.
I hear your soul slowly starting to find it’s voice.
I hear you starting to say “I am me, I have made it this far, I will be okay.”

I feel you;
eighteen years old and taking on a new chapter for this never ending book.
I feel your heart breaking as you lost your best friend and forget the strength he raised you to have.
I feel your hands shaking as you pick up all the broken pieces that were left, shattered, on the ground.
I feel you slipping into a dark rabbit whole of chaos and meltdowns with blood running down your hands from all those shattered pieces.
I feel you forgetting that you need to love yourself if you ever want to be loved, whole heartedly, in return.
I feel you fading into the night.

I see you;
twenty two years old and crawling out of the never ending black hole.
I see you fighting to find your place in this world, again & letting light shine back in.
I see you remembering what it means to laugh, i mean truly belly laugh, with your best friends.
I see you letting yourself fall in love with someone.
I see you allowing others to take a peak at the chapters you almost tore out of your story book.
I see you remembering who you are and the dreams you have always had, tucked inside.

I hear you;
twenty five years old: believing in yourself and finding your place.
I hear you praying for peace and understanding of the chapters of your life that led you to be in this moment.
I hear you telling the world who you are with a shaky voice but at least you are trying
I hear you reminding yourself that you are important and you matter.
I hear you remembering that you don’t have to be so hard on yourself.
I hear you sharing your stories of life’s adventures with those around you.

I feel you;
twenty seven years old and living each day with love and purpose.
I feel you making decisions to better yourself and your future.
I feel you laughing without hesitations or fear of what others may or may not think of you, body or mind.
I feel you dancing the night away because you are now married to someone who adds to your life.
I feel your heart beating and wide open because you have allowed some to see all the good and bad inside of you.
I feel you showing and sharing more love, for yourself and others, than you ever thought possible.

I am you;
twenty nine years old and madly in love with every word, page, and chapter of your story.
I am you and cherish each piece of the puzzle that now fits together so well.
I am you and I know there will be hard moments but that this will always be a beautiful life.
I am you and I treasure the scars and battle wounds that tell the story of where you have been.
I see you; I hear you; I feel you – and I am proud that I am you.

Desiree Angelica Young

01/22/2019

 

Well, if you read this far – THANK YOU. thank you. Thank You. ❤️❤️❤️

I know some times I stray from my normal VSG discussions. I’d say sorry, however, I’m really not. 🤷‍♀️😂🤷‍♀️. 🙂 I like to write about anything and everything, more than just life around VSG. I used to write poetry CONSTANTLY. A lot of my teachers/friends still have some embarrassing pieces, I’m sure. And one of my dear, sweet friends once wrote a letter to me after reading my poetry binder saying she wanted to read the poem I wrote when I found my happiness – Well Keke, here is it. -❤️ thank you for always encouraging me to keep writing and finding my happiness.

While the poem isn’t the traditional rhyming poem I tend to write it is my story. It’s the story of the bad, scary, dark and the good, beautiful, and light of this wonderful life I have and am continuing to live. What better place to share that than on MY website?! 🤷‍♀️

As always, ANY and ALL feedback is totally welcome. Questions are always encouraged and I am open to creative criticism.

THANK YOU❤️THANK YOU❤️THANK YOU.