anxiety, change, chronic illness, depression, happiness, insomniac, invisible pain, poetry, support, Uncategorized, vertical sleeve gasrectomy, vsg

Dear Little One; A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Little One;

You will conquer your demons and face your fears.

You will rise from the ashes and wipe away those tears.

Dear Little One;

You will heal those wounds and be reminded of your journey by those left behind scars.

You will be able to take a deep breathe and enjoy the midnight shining stars.

Dear Little One;

You will never let the cruel world harden that overflowing heart.

You will enjoy the little things in life; a warm hug, a beautiful sunset & so much magnificent art.

Dear Little One;

You will pick up the pieces of your soul when others let them fall.

You will remain resilient, kind and loving above all.

Dear Little One;

You will face tough days that will come from nowhere and be gone just as fast.

You will lose those you love too soon but the amazing memories will forever last.

Dear Little One;

You will share so much love and create a family that is the perfect fit.

You will feel their love, deep in your heart & know it’s where you belong; this is it.

Dear Little One;

You will become a strong, independent and fierce woman with a fire in your soul so deep it can’t burn out.

You will find your voice & learn when to remain silent and when it’s time to shout.

Dear Little One;

Hold on tightly for your time has yet to come.

I can promise that you will soon shine brighter than the sun.

Desiree Angelica

Tomorrow I will turn thirty two. That’s thirty two years of questions, worry, wonder, pain, love, happiness, heartache and so on and so forth. Thirty two years of surviving in a world that isn’t always kind. Thirty two years of not letting the crudeness of this world make me bitter, sad & hardened.

This journey has not always been easy. I have messed up. Done stupid things. Broken peoples trust. Messed up royally. Fallen down and scrapped my hands and knees on rock bottom. . . Yet NO MATTER how bad it’s gotten I have always found the strength to keep going. To keep pushing and always try to find the good, happiness & beauty in the world.

I have been pretty open and honest about my past battles with anxiety and depression. . I have fought demons I wasn’t sure I could conquer. I have scars that will never go away that adorn my skin from razor blades that could never cut quite deep enough physically to numb the emotional pain. I have been down so low that I truly believed living was worse than disappearing. I didn’t think I was worthy of a happy life, a full life, of love.

But today I am proud. I am proud of the woman I am. I am proud of the battles I fought to be where I am today. I am proud of the scars that remind me of how far I have come. I am proud of the wounds that still bleed if they are scrapped just right. I am proud that, regardless of circumstance, I have remained true to who I am and where I want to be in this lifetime.

So if I could tell my younger self anything it would be; you will rise, you will conquer, you will make it, & it will all be worth it.

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