July 12th, 2017

Today I had my nutrition and psychology appointments/evaluations. Today I am one step closer to forever changing my life. 
My first appointment was with a nutritionist. She was so kind and explained everything in such great detail. She reviewed my current eating habits and we wrote down goals for me to work towards before surgery. Basic things like portion control, no carbonated drinks, no sugary drinks, and healthy choices. The basic things we all know but seldom follow. The time is now for me to start making all these changes. Over the last 2 and a half months I have already begun and I can only move forward from here. 

The nutritionist also discussed my pre surgery and post surgery diets. Luckily through the program I am in I will not have to go on a pure liquid diet for the 2 weeks prior to surgery. However I will have to be on a very scaled back diet. I will post that information when I begin that stage in my journey. My post surgery diet will be liquid for one day and the on day two I will be able to have puréed foods. Eventually I will work up to three meals a day and one snack. My meals will be one cup and my snacks will be one half of a cup and the goal is to stay with those sized meals for the rest of my life. 

Right now I feel overwhelmed with the thoughts of it all. Thinking about eating small meals like I will for the rest of my life is a huge decision but I am 100% committed and I know this is the absolute best choice for myself and my future. 

My next appointment was my psych evaluation. This was nothing like I expected. 

The psychologist met me at the door and I went into his office. I gave him my paperwork that listed my health history in regards to physical and psychological health. We discussed past issues with depression and anxiety as well as pinpointing what has caused me to be overweight and remain overweight. Much of it he believes has come from dealing with emotional situations and using food as a comfort. I do agree with him. 

Next we discussed what will happen after surgery. He said my age can be both a hiderence and a blessing. Because I am so young I will have a much longer life to continue on this path than someone who waits until later in life. However he believes this will benefit me as I will recover rather quickly and can change the course of my life dramatically. 

After that we talked about the reactions I will receive during and after weight loss. He told me a story about running into an old college friend and until she laughed he did not recognize her because she had went through weight loss surgery years prior. He was shocked and immediately jumped to the thought that she was sick or something else was going on. She was not sick and was polite and explained that she had had surgery. 

He also brought up the fact that many people who see me frequently will not notice my weight loss and that while I will be happy with my progress they may not praise me or even mention it. 

Another major discussion was dealing with the negativity that comes with having surgery and people saying things such as “you took the easy way out. ” or “having surgery was a drastic measure, I would never do that.” And also people saying “you were beautiful the way you were/you should love yourself no matter what. ” I get it, I know that surgery is not for everyone and I know that it is very drastic but when you have tried a hundred diets and are suffering from other weight related health issues you are prepared to do something as drastic as surgery to use as a toll to help you have a healthier life. And as far as for loving myself here and now, please don’t doubt that I do. I am beautiful not matter what weight I am, however I love myself enough to make these changes to be the best version of myself that I can be. I certainly do not expect everyone to understand my reasons and honestly I’m not concerned with them. This is my choice to be the person I am driven to be! 

Once we discussed all of these topics he told me not to worry and that I’m not crazy! (Little does he know. 😂😂😂)  but he assured me that I am a great candidate for this  surgery  and he also loved the idea that I have decided to blog my experience. 

Now, several hours after my appointments I am still very on board with my decisions and will continue to move forward. 

Next week will be Month 3 with my Primary Care Physician. 

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