March 28th,2018

One thing I know for sure is that life is short. Life is so incredibly short and it doesn’t always go according to plan but ,my god, is it worth it. Every battle and every hurdle is a beautiful piece in the masterpiece of chaotic poetry we live every second of every minute of every day.

I know how short life is because I watched the strongest man I’ve even known, my dad, slip away from this world at forty five. I witnessed the strength of his never shattering soul crumble as his fight was over. We never truly know how quickly this life can be taken from us until we see someone we love more than anything in this world leave us behind without a choice.

When my dad passed I was eighteen. I was just beginning my life and I was four hours away at college. Ironically I didn’t gain the freshman fifty, I had lost the freshman fifty while I was at college. When I moved home I was the smallest I can remember being since I was in middle school. A size eighteen, maybe a sixteen.

After that year my weight spiraled out of control. Now don’t get me wrong, I have never been thin. I have always been overweight for my height and age. I have battled with weight my entire life. But after I was the thinnest I had ever been I let it all go and slowly but surely let myself become the heaviest I had ever been.

I worked several jobs and went to college. I ate fast food and quick meals when I could. I drank more than I should’ve and just overall forgot to care about my health.

I put everyone else above myself and let my health fall to the bottom of my priority list. While I am not incredibly proud of those pounds or that I let myself get to such a high weight it is a part of my story.

When I decided to take control of my health and move forward with having the VSG surgery I decided that I am a priority and I am worth the fight to live a healthier life while I can.

While I am certainly not the poster child for healthy decisions 100% of the time I am proud of how far I have come. Today I am healthier than I may have ever been. While I will have set backs and bad days I have to keep reminding myself that I am worth this fight. We are all worth this fight.

Life can be cut so unfairly short. I know this and while it may have taken me almost ten years to make the necessary changes to do what I can to live a longer, fuller life I know now that I am worth being my number one.

If anyone ever tells you putting your self first is selfish or not commendable they are sorely mistaken. If you do not take care of you while you can you will not be able to take care of others you love when they need you the most. Make time for yourself. Go to the gym. Meditate. Go for a walk. Read a book. Enjoy the sunshine. Take a hot bath. Laugh until your cheeks hurt. Take care of your mind, body and soul.

You deserve everything you have to give yourself. ❤️

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