There are moments I feel so lost and out of place.
Minutes I spend shaking, with tears stains on my face.
Hours I can’t quit break free of my own head space.
Some times I forget how beautiful the ride is on this roller coaster.
So many ups and downs. Twists and turns.
I forget to look at the scenery instead of always searching for the end; for closure.
There are times I take for granted the love I have around me.
I’ve closed my eyes to the blessings that I needed to see.
My mind and heart battle with what I should believe.
I am stubborn, fiercely independent and don’t always like to admit when I’m wrong.
I forget great life lessons that I have known all along.
My biggest fault is always pretending I’m oh so strong.
Parts of myself are scattered all over the places I have been.
I’ve lost some pieces of my heart and forgotten what I have within.
I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t lived a life without sin.
Yet, through it all & at the end of the every day, I know am exactly where I’m meant to be.
Since I still have a long road to travel and so much more to see;
will you keep on walking, right here; beside me?
Desiree Angelica Young
Some one recently asked me if I ever imagined my life to be what it is now. . To be where I am in terms of health, happiness and in general. My Answer: Mostly no, but I’ve always tried to believe in the old cliche of “everything happens for a reason.” We go through trials to make us stronger. We have bad days to teach us to appreciate the good. We learn life long lessons from some who are only in our lives for a fleeting moment. We have amazing bonds with people who see deep inside our souls. We live, learn, laugh, love and in between we cry, mourn, hurt, and some times face failure.
All of these times in our lives make us who we are in the present. I certainly don’t believe we can just let everything up to fate: I believe in working towards your own personal or professional goals. I believe in dreaming big and reaching for the stars. And I still believe that it all happens for a reason. To make us who we are, not to break us; even though some times it certainly doesn’t feel that way.
While I am not proud that it took me being two pounds shy of four hundred pounds to set my mind to live a healthier life I do not know that I would have the determination to keep on this path without having lived that. I also don’t think I could have done this at any other point in my life because I was not ready. I needed to mentally, emotionally and physically be who I was when I made the choice to have VSG and change my life in so many ways. I needed to have the amazing support system I am so blessed to have walking with me.
I choose to use my past and the trials and tribulations as stepping stones, tools, lessons to make me a better person, not bitter. I’m certainly not always successful with this but damn, do I try. & I encourage everyone to try. Try to see the good, try to make the most of this life. We get one shot: one chance: one life. ♥️