Several times over the last year and a half I have been asked if I wish I would have had surgery prior to my wedding, prior to marrying the man who drives me absolutely insane and pushes each and every button I have but makes me laugh uncontrollably in the very next moment. In short; No, Not at all.
And here comes the long version;
(by the way, my husband says he dislikes when I write long winded posts/blogs but he’ll still read this and love me just the same.:)
I met my now husband when I was probably just about three hundred pounds. We met one weekend and from the next weekend on we haven’t really spent a weekend apart (unless we have to because of work and life.) He has loved me in my most vulnerable and incredibly chaotic states of being. He has encouraged and cheered me on when I wanted nothing more than to give up and give in on any/all of my dreams. I know there are aspects and personal issues I deal with that he doesn’t always understand & I certainly do not claim to always be the easiest or calmest wife; we’re human & a part of what makes us who we are and let’s us grow in life/relationships is getting through it all together. That means the messy days, chaotic moments, hard decisions, and all the beauty that comes with it.
He has watched me struggle with my health and weight for almost seven years now. & he has loved me through all of it. That is certainly not to say we are perfect, cause NO couple/relationship is. I know I frustrate him beyond belief some days. And he knows that I don’t always agree with him. We come from different places in this world, even only being raised fifteen minutes apart. . I tell him all the time that there are moments I don’t necessarily like him but I always love him. 🤣😘
What means more to me than any amount of weight I could lose is that I had and still have his support through this because this surgery was also an adjustment for him. It changed my eating habits, my hobbies have become different as I’ve become more active and I do look different. I can’t even pretend to know how all this effected his life. . But what I have always tried to do in regards to this is communicate with him.
When I was considering the surgery I went to him first and we discussed what all this would entail. We talked about how it would change our life and why I wanted to make this major life change. I wanted to make sure he was on board as much as I was. I needed to know he was going to be my biggest cheerleader and number one fan. He was then and is now. I know as soon as we discussed it he searched every article/website he could to know everything he could about what I was pursuing. He knows the “rules” surrounding what I can eat, when I can drink, that I can’t eat too fast. & while some times I don’t appreciate that I’m the moment I know he reminds me of the rules because he wants me to be healthy, happy and successful.
I started this entire process prior to getting married. I could have suggested waiting to get married until I had lost weight. I could have pushed to have the surgery prior to walking down the aisle. . But why?! Why rush to change when the man who I was marrying didn’t see my weight? Why rush to fit into a smaller dress when my heart was what my husband fell in love with? Why rush when I wasn’t mentally there yet?
While I can not speak for my husband about any of this I would hope he feels the same. While he and I will face many hurdles and struggles in this life time, because every marriage does, I am thankful for his never ending support on this road I’m on. After all he’s on it with me, whether he’s walking beside me or riding behind me blasting eye of the tiger 🤣 pushing me farther than I ever knew possible.
Every relationship is certainly unique and no two people are the same but I know that I am so thankful that through every hospital visit, surgery, crazy recipe idea, bad days and triumphs I am fortunate to have found a man who has loved me through it. ♥️
desiree.angelica 