anxiety, change, depression, happiness, insomniac, poetry, support, Uncategorized, vertical sleeve gasrectomy, vsg

It’s November; Let’s Talk About Being Thankful

With so much negativity and chaos in the world today & Thanksgiving fast approaching I figured it’s the perfect time to reflect on what exactly I am thankful for from this past year. & maybe this can or will encourage others to dig deep past the heartache of this year and remember how blessed we are each day.

– At the beginning of this (never ending) year I tore my meniscus and had to have surgery. I was depressed, angry and felt defeated. For weeks I couldn’t drive, walk, etc. However I worked hard at physical therapy and was back to walking, wearing heels and crazily dancing with my friends in no time. I am so thankful for my husband and family (this always includes the friends who are now my family) for accommodating me with a hospital bed, ramps, rides, meals, and everything in between. And I am incredibly grateful I had a wonderful surgeon and PT crew that made recovering possible and even enjoyable some days!

– Meanwhile COVID hits and the world basically shuts down. . . I am a fortunate one who has remained working and having steady paychecks throughout. While wearing a mask and constant screenings and temperature checks can be annoying I am thankful I have remained healthy and employed.

– Vacations were canceled this summer because of the travel restrictions and fear of this unknown virus however, my husband and I were still fortunate enough to be able to go camping more than normal, enjoy days out on our boat & make lifelong memories with those we hold near and dear to us.

– My weight-loss/health journey veered off a time or twelve this year. I drank more alcohol than I should and let myself fall into old habits but I am still able to maintain a healthier lifestyle and was able to recognize and refocus on myself. I am grateful for the wisdom and knowledge I have to steer myself back onto the path I need to be on.

– My own health issues have left me feeling defeated, weak and daunted by my own future. Hours have been spent crying and essentially losing my shit over autoimmune diseases that will be a constant for the rest of my life. There have been days that I physically can’t force myself out of bed and wasn’t able to find my smile. But I continue to find the strength to keep pushing, moving forward and searching for answers. I am thankful for home remedies, hot tubs, new treatments and my own inner strength to keep on keepin on.

– I feel like I almost lost myself to the chaos and negativity at one point this year. I allowed toxic relationships and negativity to consume my every thought. I gave in to beliefs that I was undeserving of unconditional love and positive influences. However I was, once again, reminded how blessed I am to have an abundance of fierce woman and warrior men standing beside me to protect me from my own demons. & so many littlest who need me to be exactly the person I needed when I was their ages. ♥️

– I have watched those closest to me struggle with health issues, personal issues and I have lost people I deeply loved. . But I am forever thankful to have known love so deep and care for people whole heartedly. I have not let this harden me but continue to be a constant reminder of how much we all need and deserve unconditional love.

This year has been one of trials and heartache, bad days and terrifying moments but it has also been a year full of loving some of the best friends and bonus family a girl could ask for; a year full of laughter and silliness with all my littles, a year of reclaiming myself and relearning my resilience. This year has been sad and scary but has still been one of the most beautiful and rewarding years of my life.

So with that all said please try to be thankful for the days we get on this earth, the moments we share we those we love & the incredible human you are. None of us know exactly what the future holds but we can do our best to find the silver linings & live each day as loving, kind, appreciative human beings.

& I am always thankful for those who continue to read these ramblings and support my dreams of being a writer. ♥️

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.


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