On this day three years ago I walked into the hospital ready to make a change. Ready to put in the work to live a healthier life. Ready to face whatever challenges came my way. Ready to focus on myself.
In these last 3+ years (I started my VSG journey almost a year before my actual surgery) I have had days where I questioned my decision. Moments I have dealt with body dysmorphia. Weeks I was angry because I went off track. There have absolutely still been times of depression and anxiety. However, what I have NOT had is regret!
I have never allowed a number on the scale to completely define me. I have always done whatever I wanted, even when it wasn’t what “big girls” were supposed to do. I wore the bathing suits, I was a full figured cheerleader, danced my ass off at the bars, wore the heels, did the backflips & splits and laughed as much, as long and as loud as I wanted. . .
But if I’m being honest I was always aware of my size and how it held me back. How I didn’t fit in a restaurant booth or on amusement rides. How the whispers and laughter was some times at my expense. How I couldn’t play as much and as long with all my littles.
So I did something about it. Throughout my life I tried every diet, work out plan, and magical pills you could imagine. But ultimately VSG was the best choice for me. It was the tool I needed to push myself to be the best & healthiest version of myself.
It was not and will never be the “cure all” for everything that ails me. I have stumbled and fallen down a million times in this life. I have gained and lost – weight, friends, family. This journey has been no different. I will keep pushing, fighting and rising above the challenges I face along the way.
I have had to focus on myself & spend more time working on myself than I ever have. . While there are highs and lows I wouldn’t change a minute of this wild ride. Because I started this blog as a weight loss journey and shared numbers back in the beginning- I am glad to share that I have lost and been able to maintain over a 200lb loss. My weight fluctuates back and forth a solid 20lbs and if I fall off my plan for long I absolutely feel like shit for days. So when I fall I pick myself back up and move on.
Sooooo if you’re a faithful follower of these ramblings, someone who is only reading this chapter of my story, or one of the amazing members of my tribe; who have literally and figuratively picked me up a million times – THANK YOU. Thank You. thank you. ♥️
I have been so incredibly blessed in this lifetime & I hope and pray that this blog helps at least one person out there in any way, shape or form. You are never alone.