We’ve all done it; at one point of another. We’ve placed our happiness and joy in another’s hands. We’ve expected others to shine light on our darkness without wanting to put the effort in to find our own source of light. We’ve waited around for someone else to come to us and lead us down their path to find joy, when we could have been out their finding our own joy.
I’m am sure this could be a controversial thing to discuss but in my very OWN opinion no one else can, is, or should be in charge of your happiness. Can they add to it? Abso-freaking-lutely. Are we all human and sometimes let them take away from it? Obviously. But WE, as individuals, can decide to chase after and achieve our own happiness.
No, I’m not saying it’s as easy as a snap of the fingers to choose happy. You won’t wake up with a pep in your step every single day. And you will certainly still let others get under your skin buttttt don’t wait for someone else to find YOUR happy or bring you YOUR joy.
This can happen in all aspects of life; work, friendships, relationships & just in general. & I think we are all somewhat programmed to depend on others for a constant and solid supply of joy & happiness. We wait for others to make us smile. We look for others approval. We strive to make others happy. We are born in a world where others play such a crucial and significant part of our lives.
Im not saying it’s all negative or that you shouldn’t enjoy others company but how many times have you wanted to do something, anything and not done it because no one wanted to do it with you? Or it’s not something your spouse would enjoy doing? You don’t want to do it alone or be the third wheel? Or you don’t do it because no one else has told you it brings them joy? So you push it down and wait.
You wait for someone else to lead you to what they think will bring you joy. . . But here we are. . At the water but they can’t make you drink, right? Well they can’t MAKE you feel true joy or happiness either. You have to choose that for yourself.
Is it easier when you share common interests and hobbies with another person or group of people? Duh. But that doesn’t HAVE to be the case.
So your spouse doesn’t enjoy the same activities you do; do them anyway! You want to go on a hike on a beautiful sunny day, suggest it to your friends and goooo! Your friends are all busy and you want to go to the movies; get yourself the ticket and sit front row! You enjoy writing but aren’t sure if anyone reads it or enjoys it (🙋♀️) ; write that poem, short story, blog post anyway. You want to set a goal and crush it to feel better about yourself but feel like you’re met with naysayers and negativity; do the damn thing FOR YOU. You want to travel but your spouse doesn’t; plan a trip with friends and don’t give a single shit if you’re the third wheel.
While I’m not saying to be completely self consumed and not try to do things with others to enjoy them together I am saying do NOT wait for others to make you happy. Go out and find your own path to true, deep, earth shattering happiness. & some times you’re lucky enough to share in that happiness with others but you have to be willingly to learn how to enjoy life without waiting on happiness & joy to be delivered to you in a perfectly wrapped package with the prettiest bow you ever did see. You’ll be waiting a damned long time. & you’ll miss out on all the joy you could have created for yourself.
Happiness comes from deep within your soul.
Joy is some thing that you and you alone can control.
Stop sitting around and waiting for those in your life to find your light.
Go out and search even if it takes you into the depths of night.
Do not spend your time waiting for someone else to lead you down the path they took.
Pull out your own compass, and really look.
Find the direction it’s pointing for you to search for your own joy.
It’s not a gimmick and not a ploy.
Others are not responsible for your happiness at the end of the day.
It’s time; get started now & soon you’ll find your way.
– Desiree Angelica
On a semi- side note; today is day 40 of my own journey to SMASHING my goals (regardless that I’m doing it by myself -I choose that!! & despite the naysayers) & I am incredibly proud of myself for not having any alcohol, rockstar, sleeping meds and working out 5 days a week for the past 40 days! 💪 I am finding MY OWN happy. 😁