comfortably wearing a bikini; say what?!?

Summer time in central Pennsylvania means we try to spend time on our boat, swimming, porch sitting, we just got back from camping at the beach for a week and with friends for the weekend. Summer now also means shorts, tank tops and bikinis! That is some thing new and has been an adjustment for me!

I’m not sure why or when it was developed that bigger women & men shouldn’t wear clothes that show their skin. Let’s be honest here; covering or not covering yourself doesn’t change your size. But regardless I fell victim to the thought that I had to cover as much of my body as I could, even in the dead of summer! For so many years I would wear jeans or capris all through summer with a t shirt to cover every inch I could. & a bikini; forget it! 🤦‍♀️ A bathing suit with a skirt was all the rage in my wardrobe and I would only take my cover up off long enough to jump in the water and as soon as I was back out a towel was instantly wrapped around me and my cover up was back on.

My lord, is it freeing to now give zero f*cks if some one is staring at my sagging skin, stretch marks & cellulite. I have worked so hard to get where I am and if I want to wear the shorts, or a bikini at the beach then i will do just that!

We all have insecurities. Pieces and parts of our bodies we’d like to change or feel that could be better but we shouldn’t feel like we have to hide ourselves. & for who do we hide?! Cause truthfully when I see someone else covered up in clothes in the hot sun all I think is “my lord, they should have shorts and tank top on, they have to be roasting.” I would like to believe more people than not are thinking that. However, I do know that when I was 400lbs I felt like the world was staring at me thinking “my god, she should not be showing any skin.”

I would still LOVE to know where that concept or thought process came from because it sucks and should not be continued and passed down to the next generation! Yet I know it will be. My only hope is that slowly people become less judgmental of our looks as time goes on and become more understanding and helpful.

We are all guilty of being judgmental in this life. I am no exception. I have been quick to judge or make rude and uncalled for comments about some one I didn’t know. However, I recognized this and am a work in progress. Aren’t we all?!

One of the main reasons I started this blog to follow my journey with my VSG and weight loss was in an attempt to give at least one other person a better understanding of bariatric surgery and how it truly is not an easy fix! The other was to let others know they are not alone. So many people fight the battle of their weight and looks and how society believes we should be to “fit in.”

I am happily at a point where I can say screw society and their opinions! I am sure people see me in shorts and make comments about my legs that are full of cellulite and scars; oh well. 🤦‍♀️ Maybe they see me in a tank top and see the skin hanging from my upper arms; I know it’s there. 🙄 or they see me in a bikini and think I’m not in shape enough to wear it; their opinion isn’t one that matters to me. 🤷‍♀️

Fortunately for me, I’ve never lacked a whole lot of confidence about who I am as a person. Take me or leave me has kind of always been my motto but losing weight and feeling healthier has definitely changed my confidence and decisions to wear what ever I damn well please!

So to the mean girls & unforgiving, judgmental society; remember the insecurities you have felt, dealt with, and the judgments that have been placed upon you before passing it on to others.