anxiety, change, depression, happiness, insomniac, poetry, support, Uncategorized, vertical sleeve gasrectomy, vsg

What We Leave Behind When We Go. . .


You left this world too young, too soon, too fast. .

but the love you left behind will forever last.

Tears will fall from time to time & we will feel the heaviness in our hearts.

We will long for your arms, voice and love while we are a part.

Our lives will forever be changed by your death but so much more by your life.

This world can be cruel, unfair & full of so much strife.

But you left us with memories and lives that are so bright

Your heart still shines down as we bask in your light.

We are forever blessed to have known your love, kindness and beautiful soul.

You taught us lessons, listened to our cries & made us feel whole.

So while you are gone and we are still here with so much left to say;

We are better off for having loved and known you; we wouldn’t trade a single day.

We are now blessed with the most genuine guardians in the sky.

So fly high sweet angel, fly high.

– Desiree Angelica


Do you ever think about the impact you’ve had? What you will be remembered for? How you’ve changed some one’s life? The memories you’ll leave when you have to go? The lives you have shaped by your words & actions? Slightly morbid, maybe; still it’s a thought that’s crossed my mind & i’m sure it’s crossed so many others.


I recently saw the quotes I posted above and they hit home; like a ton of bricks straight to the face. Through out this weight-loss journey numbers have been important but nothing has been as meaningful as hearing others tell me that I’ve inspired them, or that a chunk of my life story has made a positive impact on them. Those lives you change with a kind word, a simple smile, or being a genuine friend. Lives that are left better for having known you or learning a part of your story that has opened their hearts and minds.

We all face loss. Loved ones pass; it’s an inevitable part of the great big circle of life. I know that makes not one second of it any easier. But if you think of the loved ones you have lost what do you remember them for? It certainly isn’t usually the shoes they wore, how much money they had, what kind of home they lived it; it’s who they were. It’s how they inspired you. It’s the heart they had and the love they let shine from them!


Recently one of the greatest friends I’ve known in this life time passed away. He was older and battled cancer for countless years; yet he never let that harden him. He was kind and caring. Compassionate and loving. We met several years ago and he opened his life and heart to me. He guided me and accepted me for all I was ( and it’s no secret I can be A LOT. ) He cared about this young girl with out a single obligation to do so. He and his wife invited me into their home for dinner, took me to lunch every chance they could and even welcomed me and a girl friend into their home when they had moved hours away and we were on a random adventure. He emailed/facetimed me and checked in with me if he hadn’t heard from me. He wasn’t afraid to tell me the harsh truths when I needed to hear them. He told me stories of lessons he had learned along the way and never judged me for the roads I’ve traveled. I think of him daily and what he left behind. The people who knew him and the love he shared.

When I think about those who have passed that have had an impact on my life I remember the kindness, the laughter, the amazing souls I was blessed to spend time with and learn from. Those who have read past blog posts or know me in person know that I lost my Poppa when I was eighteen. I also work in a field that loss happens an unfortunate amount of time. I have lost close friends and seen ones I love battle a world full of cancer, heart disease, car accidents and so on and so forth. We all have.


So with that all being said; What will you leave behind when you go? How will you impact those you cross paths with for a moment or for a lifetime? My advice (not that you were asking) is to live a life you that you will leave behind a better place for you having lived in it. Have relationships that are deep and meaningful. Share every ounce of light inside of you with those who are in your life.

While there is pain when we lose those we love there is also the amazing memories, lessons and love shared that shapes you into exactly who you are. So mourn the loss, grieve those you loved so deeply but do not let that heart ache make you cold, bitter or hardened. Do not let the hurt stop you from loving with your entire being or you may miss out on knowing the abundance of love from some of the most beautiful souls this world has to offer.

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