I cried today; not for you but for me
I cried for all the moments and the memories.
I shed tears today because we were robbed of time.
I shed tears because it happened with no reason or rhyme.
I hurt today because I want you here.
I hurt because I can’t believe it’s been fourteen years.
I looked up today and asked god why?
I looked up and saw the blue of your eyes.
I prayed today for the strength to keep pushing through.
I prayed that I will never forget you.
I cried today wishing this wasn’t how it all worked out.
I cried as I thought of you up there in the clouds.
I shed tears today because i still feel lost without my best friend.
I shed tears knowing this heart ache will never truly end.
I hurt today because I just want a never ending hug from you.
I hurt because of all we had been through.
I looked up today and thanked god for all the blessings I have had.
I looked up and smiled because you were the absolute best dad.
I prayed today; that you know how much I still love you.
I prayed because that’s all I can do.
My poppa, the crazy man that he was, died on leap day. 02/29/2008. It didn’t shock me that he held on until that date because that was who he was. A man who made his own rules and taught me to dance to whatever damn drum I wanted to.
He was a man of strength, dignity and so much love. I can remember so many times he would give up whatever he had to to make sure I had the best life I could. He was willing to give the shirt off of his own back for a stranger. He would give his last dime for those he loved.
He was my rock. & no, he wasn’t perfect. We certainly had our battles and butted heads (probably because we were so much alike.) but at the end of every single day of my life, I have never had to question if he loved me.
He loved me loud.
He loved me big.
He loved me so proud.
Over the years I’ve encountered many people who knew my dad. . Stories have been told about how he fought with possums, blew up cars, let spiders crawl from his mouth while he was chatting away, shot the moon on a million occasions and was the absolute life of every party. I have never heard anyone speak an ill word of my amazing Poppa.
But the absolute best thing I’ve heard repeatedly is that he was so proud to be MY poppa. How much he was in-love with his baby girl. & that I AM my fathers daughter; through and through.
So today. . It’s been fourteen years without his hugs, his smile, his bright eyes and his roaring laughter. . . But not a minute hasn’t passed that he hasn’t filled my life with love, blessings and beauty.
No a single second will ever got by that I don’t miss my poppa; but there will also never be a second that goes by that I forget how special the forty five years he spent on this earth truly were. & what a blessing he was while he was with me for eighteen years of my life and now fourteen years of being my guardian angel.
I love you, Poppa. To the moon and back. 🌙 ♥️