simplistic believer. soul searcher. fear conqueror. deep lover. unrealistic dreamer. & forever finding my own voice in this chaotically, beautiful world.
Recently my therapist asked me to think about a question that I’ve probably thought about a thousand times but never gave it the space in the playbill that it truly deserved. “If no one expected you to be the strong one… who would you be?” & so I did what I do - wrote about… Continue reading The Final Performance of the One Woman Show
i don’t remember exactly when I learned that love leaves. I just know I learned it far too young. Before I understood abandonment, I understood the feeling of it. Before I knew what trauma was, my body already knew how to survive it. Before I should have been worrying about anything more complicated than homework,… Continue reading Love May Leave; But I’m Staying
Just as you have, I have spent a truly impressive amount of my life being judged. And, if nothing else, I have to admire the consistency. When I was over 400 pounds, people judged my body. I was too big. I needed to lose weight. I needed to take better care of myself. I needed… Continue reading Too This. . . Too That. . . Blah Blah Blah
This site went from being a tool to hold myself accountable during my weight-loss journey to an outlet for anything and everything going on in my endless, trapping mind. For now, I am taking a step back from this blog to focus on my own personal growth. Growth in my self. Growth in my emotions.… Continue reading Hiatus: Focusing On My Own Growth
My father. My dad. My poppa. He was, self admittedly, not a saint. He had his flaws and faults and could be short tempered. His younger days were spent careless and even a little reckless. He didn’t always do the “right” thing or follow the law. Some of his life choices could be considered questionable,… Continue reading Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a future.
Sixteen or four; it doesn’t matter how I count the years Each one passes and some days are still filled with tears What I wouldn’t give for you to call and tell me how much you love me, just once more. Or curl up beside you to watch the Walton’s for the thousandth time- “I… Continue reading Leap Day 💫Forever Young, Poppa.
I’ve written to you so many times. . . Filled a thousand pages with deep letters and even silly rhymes. I still talk to you; out loud & in my head. Some times while I’m driving aimlessly or just lying in my bed. I tell stories about you every chance I can. Of laughter and… Continue reading 12/29/2023 ⭐️ Happy 61st Birthday, Poppa!
Aunt Claud, it’s been three months without you here. . . Three months of missing you, being angry, laughing at the memories, and crying rivers of tears. . . I keep ripping open the scabs on my broken heart but there are some wounds I don’t know that I will ever let heal. I keep… Continue reading Three Months without you, Aunt Claud. 💛
Oh Aunt Claud, now who do I yell inappropriate things at from across the street? Who’s gonna tell me over and over - “girl, no grass grows under your feet.” I am so thankful for the stories you always told me of our families time together in the past But I’d give anything to be… Continue reading Oh Aunt Claud. 💛
You see the matching nails and toes The perfectly coordinated shoes and clothes You see the attention to detail with the makeup on my face The hair carefully done with not a single strand out of place. You see the home filled with love and care The fridge filled with drinks and food; ready to… Continue reading Living with Lupus 👿
